“They speak of you exactly how they see you.” – Obvius Anonimus
In such uncertain reality the almost mystical “they” won’t know better. If you appear to be the leader – for their minds you are one, and if you “have” (or rather appear to have) authority over other people, then on very basic evolutionary level you are this much more attractive as a prospective leader for them. Just as women will perceive more attractive men surrounded by/attractive to other women.
The communicational classics
– Maintenance of a good posture, as in: Your body is communicating constantly. One cannot not communicate, but one can choose what he/she want to convey.
Let me ask you this: What posture comes first to your mind when thinking about a crackhead and a timeless leader of your choosing? Our intuitions work more or less the same so I can assume that it is not the same posture, and that your timeless leader stands erect, and your crackheads spine is all twisted to the point of breaking. It is safe to assume that other people on planet associate more positive image with erect posture as we both do. Our intuitions could even read some of the minds through body language of this sort – we could say that people with good posture are “standing proud”, are “confident” etc. Those associations are called the “Halo effect”
– Another classic is this: The first impression constitutes a general impression. In other words: if someone judged you (and we all do that, sometimes consciously, but more often not) in first seconds to minutes of their attention span the judgment/label will stay with you until something dramatic happens between you two. This mechanism is called the “Basic error of attribution”.
Those two mechanisms exist in every single human being on planet and after famous pirate – Capitan Jack Sparrow I will say this: In here it counts, it really is the “what man can and can’t do” rule. You CAN ignore those two mechanisms and stay true to your feelings, wants and form of a day, but then you CAN’T successfully convey solid leadership abilities. Well, until you become a hero-like character from your choosing, a Jesus Christ Deluxe Edition.
What I’m saying is: Standing straight when you’re emotionally exhausted or hurt, when you feeling shy or not really confident or competent is not “faking it” in my book, but it is applying discipline of mind over your body and emotions to be perceived as you deserve to be perceived. I agree that there is fine line between adaptation and manipulation or plainly deception, but c’mon… Being honest does not mean being radical or being ineffective. So yeah, be honest and true to yourself when someone actually ask you how do you feel, but until then stand up straight and look your best.
Take good care
– Przemek Kucia